How to Nail a Healthy Sleep Routine for Your New Baby
Losing sleep is to parenting what air is to breathing: Inevitable. But while toddlers, teenagers, and twentysomethings can all wreak havoc on your circadian rhythm, a newborn baby creates a special kind of after-dark chaos. And honestly, how can you blame them? Your little bundle of joy just went from floating in their own personal jacuzzi to being bald and wrinkly, with minimal communication skills, a near-constant appetite, and no idea what time it is. Respect.
It’s officially your job to teach them pretty much everything, starting with how to fall asleep independently.
When To Start Sleep Training
The answer can vary from two weeks to a few months depending on which method you use. Learning how to sleep isn’t easy (yes, cozy pajamas and soft sheets help), but it’s a major life lesson—and by default, you’re their mentor. Luckily, sleep training your baby also has major benefits for your own wellbeing: Having a sleep trained baby is proven to improve parents’ stress levels, without negatively impacting baby-parent attachment.
The first step to better sleep for you and your baby is getting started. Try one of the popular sleep training methods for babies outlined below, and don’t be afraid to tweak the recipe to create the right routine for your family. The goal is to get your baby to sleep independently, however you get there.
When to start sleep training my baby?
Different books and experts will offer different advice. The Contented Little Baby Book and The Happiest Baby on the Block are both good places to start. You and your pediatrician know what’s best, and most babies are able to self-soothe at around four to six months. Since many baby sleep routines involve letting your baby cry without returning to the room or picking them up, knowing they’ll comfort themselves back to sleep eventually will help you rest easy. By nine months, most babies can safely go all night without eating—although they’ll still be happy to milk it all night if you let them. While some may need more time or show you they’re ready earlier, most babies are ready to start a sleep training routine once they can self-soothe and make it all night without a meal. Doctors advise not skipping nighttime feedings until the baby is at least 11 to 13 lbs.
What are some sleep training methods?
That depends on you, your family, and your baby. Getting your baby to sleep independently is the first life skill you’ll teach your baby, and while the training happens after dark, the learning won’t happen overnight. Many parents start with one of the most common sleep training methods below, and tailor it to their family’s specific needs:
The Cry-It-Out Method: The name? Dramatic. The concept? Pretty simple. Put your baby to bed with a full belly and a fresh diaper, say goodnight, and don’t return to the room until the morning (or when it’s time for a night feeding). Yes, your baby will cry (hence, it’s called the cry-it-out method), but they’ll also use those self-soothing skills and ultimately learn how to go to sleep on their own. Consistency is important, but you can also tweak the process to work for your family.
The Ferber Method: If you can’t bring yourself to stay out of the room when your baby cries, the Ferber method can help ease you into overnight separation. Instead of waiting until morning to check in, you can return to the room when your baby cries, quickly console them, and leave the room again. In the Ferber method, you’re training your baby to put themselves back to sleep, and training yourself to feel comfortable hearing them cry out as they self soothe.
The Fading Method: Sibling to the chair method, the fading method is kind of like ghosting someone back when you were dating. Put your baby to bed before they are sleeping (and ideally not crying yet), then either stand near their crib or sit in a chair in the room until they fall asleep. When they do, leave the room and return for quick comfort sessions when they cry. Some call it gentle sleep training. This method generally takes longer, and can actually confuse your baby, but if you’re feeling tender, it’s a solid way to ease into sleep training.
The Pick Up/Put Down Method: Sleep training methods that rely on leaving the room after your baby is in the crib (the medical community calls this unmodified or modified extinction) have been clinically proven to work better than staying in the room, but if you’re not ready for that, try this: Put your sleepy baby to bed, leave the room, and return to pick up and comfort your baby anytime they cry. This gentle sleep training method still teaches your baby to fall asleep on their own, but typically takes longer. Even though crying can be hard for the baby and parents, it can also be a form of self-soothing.
Help! My sleep-trained baby is regressing!
Once your baby knows how to fall asleep independently, they won’t forget, but changes in environment and schedule can be disruptive. Same goes for curveballs like illness or a fever (never let a feverish baby cry it out), and even learning new skills and reaching developmental milestones. Baby sleep regression may feel real but it doesn’t mean your baby is regressing, they’re just resisting the routine and habits they know (who among us is not guilty of acting up when we’re ill?). Your job is to stay the course unless your baby is sick. Once they’re healthy again, stick as closely to the routine as possible, and your baby will get back on schedule eventually.
Whether you let your sleeping baby lie even when they’re crying, or find a gentler approach more comforting, sleep training is a major milestone. Just remember: Whatever baby sleep routine you go with, your baby can’t learn the ABCs without knowing how to catch their Zzzs.
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https://health.clevelandclinic.org/pick-up-put-down-method
https://www.takingcarababies.com/blogs/sleep-training/lets-talk-about-sleep-training
